Not done yet.
It's obvious that I can't handle my job anymore. It is not like I hate it, I simply cannot do it anymore. Whether it is because of taking all these medications (which prevent me from hating it, I think), because I am burned-out, or because I am totally lazy, I know I am washed up and must make a move.
I have stayed home today, and I have been doing that too often. Today, though, I am writing my resume. It is a bad economy, I have all kinds of physical problems, and I am definitely beyond my peak, but I know that there is something much better for me out there. I am also looking into some kind of independent business, but everywhere, healthcare is looming problem.
I put myself into this, for no other reason except I stopped trying some time in high school, I did not believe in myself-- not in the least, and settled for taking the lousiest jobs when I was employed. Now I'm 48 and getting myself out of this is going to be a puzzle.