GFE and PSE IMO
Here's my contribution to the ever re-visited issue of what does or should GFE and PSE mean.
GFE (Girlfriend Experience)
Essentially, the provider is going to treat you like you were her boyfriend for the duration of your time together. There is a promised level of imtimacy that you should feel close and comfortable with the lady. Your time together should feel more like a date than a one night stand. In some little way she should make you feel special. This seems to be the only consensus on what GFE means. I think practically everyone can agree on this.
In my opinion however the term no longer has any meaning. The problem is that almost every provider calls herself a GFE. When looking through the ads, I no longer notice or care whether a girl claims to be a GFE or not. Anyone who hobbies extensively or reads the reviews often knows that it's rare to have the experience that I described above. I'm not saying the majority of encounters reviewed are bad for the hobbyist, only that it doesn't happen that often.
Sure, if you see a provider a number of times and become regular associates, I don't doubt that a special relationship (professional, of course) will probably develop. However, I wouldn't expect a GFE treatment the very first time I meet a girl. I will admit that every girl I've been with has jabbered my ear off, in that sense I certainly do feel like she's my girlfriend! :)
Part of the problem too is the ambiguity of what it should feel like to have a girlfriend for an hour. Is it set-in-stone for how a girlfriend should make you feel? Nope. Since the general definition above is purely of an an emotional character (how you feel), there is wide room for what it should mean. One hobbyist's or provider's GFE is probably not another's.
PSE (Pornstar experience)
You are the star of your very own porno movie! Twangy seventies music is playing in the background as you bump uglies. CHICKA CHICKA BWAH BWAH! No need for too much description of this one, we've all seen our fair share of porn.
There is greater consensus on what PSE entails. If a girl promises GFE and doesn't allow kissing; not everyone would agree that you've been jipped. A girl promises PSE and will only give a handjob... that's a flat out rip-off. Don't tell me that it's not! More and more actual porn actresses are providing so I guess anything they offer is technically PSE. But there is undoubtedly a higher level of expectation for the services rendered.
PSE is a promise of wreckless and taboo sex. Your sexual gratification should be of paramount importance to the provider. There is a greater demand placed on this sort of thing so the prices are a premium. I've seen several girls who have normal rates and PSE rates. If you want the full-meal-deal, you're going to have to pay for it.
Now, why is there greater consensus on that PSE means, but not GFE? What's being promised is more in terms of certain sex acts rather than a general mood or feeling. It's easier to quantify that.
When I think I'll be visiting a new city soon, I start researcing TER and making a list. I sort of have three tiers, with each one being more preferable than the lower ones. In all cases, I only consider girls that I find to be considerably attractive. I admit that I might be more of a beauty-freak than most hobbyists. In my defense, i only have a limited amount of funds at my disposal. If I'm going to spend my hard-earned money on an encounter, I want it to be as fantasy-fulfilling as possible. (I'll have to start a new blog about the women I find attractive...this blog is getting a bit long...)
The following is how I define different levels of service.
1. A-Level: These girls provide at least the minimum of service that I would consider seeing them. Most providers I consider worth seeing fall in this category.
- No rush. I don't want to be hustled out after my first pop.
- Multiple pops must be allowed. Basically, that means 2 per hour. 3 would be cool if I can get it back up. 4 would be a record for me in one hour...she's definitely better than A-level then!
- Sex. Not just a hand job. I can do that myself, thank you! This includes vaginal and going down on me. It sucks when a provider doesn't suck...can they even be called a provider then?
- Real pic. I want to know what she looks like beforehand. Even if reviewers claim she is still hot even though the pic is fake, I'm wary.
- Reviews. I'm not going to TOFTT. I don't bring along enough cash for bail.
- Non-CraigsList ad. Again, I don't have enough for bail.
- Flat rates. I hate to be upselled. Lets have all business taken care of before we get started. Along with this, I won't see a girl who hustles for tips. Very unprofessional and akward if I don't think she deserves it or I don't have enough on me.
- No drivers or roomates. The only person I want around is her, or the other girls I paid for :)
2. GFE: These girls fit my description of what a GFE should be. They are everything an A-Level girl is and more. Most providers do not fall in this category.
- Not a clock watcher. Not only is she no rush, it's not a big deal if your time goes a bit over. I never expect or ask for it, but it's always appreciated.
- Kissing. LFK or DFK, either one. This is a biggie for GFE. Nothing is more intimate than kissing.
- DATY. Not a lot of girls are cool with this. I like doing it.
- BBBJ. Hygiene is important to me, so ladies you have nothing to worry about! Feels sooo much better than CBJ. Very important to me.
- Several reviews. She is a regular provider with some experience under her belt. A dozen good reviews can't be wrong.
- Multi-hour discounts. I always prefer at least a 2 hour session and it's nice if the second hour is discounted. A sign of professionalism on her part. I'm more likey to use the difference as a tip too!
- Nice website. FAQ. Calendar for when she travels. She's a professional and takes her job seriously.
- Threeways. She knows someone else willing to threeway with the both of you, maybe a friend of hers or another provider. Preferably she's bi in this case.
- Incall/Outcall. Willing to see you in different circumstances provided you let her know in time.
3. PSE: These girls are the ones I want to see the most. Any pornstar should provide at least this level of service. Non-pornstar providers who offer this level of service are not to be missed. They offer eveything a GFE offers and more. Few providers fall in this category.
- Greek. This is a defining characterisitc of PSE. I'm not the biggest Greek fan in the world, but it's cool if its on the menu. I'm not always in the mood, but nice to know its available.
- CIM. This is more important to me than anything else. I love it! Main thing I search for. Don't mind if a girl spits it out, but swallowing is so much cooler!
- DFK. Intense kissing, lots of tongue.
- Kinkiness. She's open for fetishes, just ask.
- High-sexual energy. Read any review of Ava Devine http://www.theeroticreview.com/reviews/show.asp?id=32225
- Highly reviewed. Everyone fucking loves her and everyone loves to fuck her! A hundred or more great reviews can't be wrong.
My first time
I've been a hobbyist for almost three years now. Technically my first experience was in Las Vegas in 2001, but I don't count that. Some buddies and I took an off-season trip there while i was still in college. I decided my virginity needed to come to an end and there is really no better place to get that done.
I am a quiet and shy person by nature, especially with the opposite sex. This never helped me get a date, let alone sex. There were several opportunities in my younger days, but something always got in the way. My older friends talked the high-school slut into going on a date with me but I declined, confusing her with a different, less attractive girl. Dohhh. Story of my life with women :)
Fast forward to college. The only girls I could get enough "courage" to ask on a date were out of my league and rejection inevitably ensued. After being told one too many times, "Let's just be friends" and being designated "Just a study-buddy", a trip to Vegas sounded in order.
I spent a few weeks in advance researching online and stumbled upon TER, Eros and Cityvibe. These sites are where I still get my main information, though I think Cityvibe has gone downhill. For whatever reason, I decided not to plan anything out. Instead I ended up calling some random agency from a handout.
The girl in the picture wasn't who showed up, but she was cute and had nice fake tits. Her name was Sara and she was a white college girl with cornrows. She checked out my ID and immediately started haggling. We agreed on a fee (475) which I now know to be too high for what was offered.
She allowed me two pops because it was my first time. After a little appreciation of her plastic assets with me on top, we switched to Cowgirl where I lost my cherry in a matter of seconds. Some very brief chatter and I was ready to go again. She was nice enough to indulge my fantasy of getting a BJ in the shower, covered unfortunately. After popping again she dried off and was out the door in just a few minutes. We only spent 45 minutes together, but for a fly-by-night agency chick she showed me a good time.
The only thing I regret was having some mouthy friends who couldn't wait to talk about my first time to everyone. :(
I don't consider this the beginning of my hobbying experience because I didn't think of it as a hobby or a lifestyle at the time. I just wanted to lose my virginity and have a few high-fives with my pals. My attitude has now changed. I can see myself hobbying for the foreseeable future.
Nothing can match the thrill of waiting in a hotel room for a girl to knock on the door. And when that knock does come, spending a few seconds looking at her in the peephole, my mouth dry and heart beating ferociously. The anticipation of intimacy with this alluring stranger, watching her undress in front of me, and holding her body close to mine. As much as I enjoy the actual love making, everything else that goes along with the experience is a sheer thrill. Nothing comes close.