Before I begin w/ this entry, I want to say anyone who takes care or just gives moral support to an ailing person w/ progressive health issues, I have to tip my hat to you, that is such a thankless job. I'm nice person, but I'm not an undyingly selfless individual, I can't be, not even if I wanted to, I‘m not built like that. To the people that are, I know there is a special place for you guys, If not in this world, I'm sure in the next life.
Yesterday, I was called upon to talk down a friend, who has had some very unfortunate health problems as of late. I tried to reason over the phone & that was a no go, then I cleared my whole schedule & traveled to the site for a hands on approach. For personal reasons I'm not going detail what I encountered, but I wasn't prepared to witness my friend's apparent low point. Other handlers were aware of the decline, I wish someone would have shared the update w/ me, if they did, my life wouldn't be my life LOL. To compound matters even more, there seems to be a mental illness situation on top of the physical decline & the person is stubborn to begin with. I tried my best, but after a while I felt like I had nothing left to give to the situation. I felt mentally drain, my gf wanted to stay & call 911 but I thoroughly explained the ramification of a call like that, so we hopped our asses back on a plane.
I felt bad for leaving for a moment since I was raised not to leave your friends behind, sort of like a military mindset. First, I want to say this wasn't one of my closest friends, but the type you might stop talking to, but you don't, b/c they have some good qualities & you have to remind yourself that, when you're thinking - "the hell with it".
This is the part I will never understand as long as I continue to live - about continuing to have vultures surround you as your support system & you know they don't have your best interest at heart. Talk about low self esteem, I guess some people are better than none - Wow.
For moments like this, I'm so looking forward to being in the middle of nowhere next month for the family camping experience. The only thing I'm trying to figure out is to gently break the news to gf that electricity will be very limited. I know that's so wrong on my part, but that's too long for me not to have my needs met. Once my projects are completed, I need to seriously start thinking about a REAL vacation, b/c combining business & pleasure & too many favor calls, isn't getting the relaxation that I definitely need.