An Abundance of Kindness
Not long ago I was with a provider who kept exclaiming, “you’re so kind, you’re so kind”. Well she was kind also, and I told her so. Sort of a “You da man!, no You da Man!” comedy exchange we heard years ago. Then a few weeks later, I did some tabulation of reviews for a local board and published same on a web page. The board owner granted me a year’s membership in her referral service. She was so kind.
The conclusion: the community of hobbyists and providers is defined by an abundance of kindness. That’s what is keeping me interested in it as much as the physical activity. It also explains what is missing in my “other life” with the SO.
Kindness is usually reciprocated. If it is not, unilateral kindness slowly evaporates. In this community, it is almost always reciprocated. In other relationships it’s a crapshoot.
Does this make sense?
Leading up to my first hobby experience
First, thanks for the comments and encouragement for the previous blog.
The follwing describes how and why I decided to hobby:
I was the geeky youth, who never thought he would find love, sex and companionship. Having joined a fraternity at the all male engineering school, my opportunities widened. The all female schools would send girls by the carload for parties. I wasn’t all that shy and on the third dance a girl opened up to me. I did not know it then, but in her mind, within a minute; she sized me up as her lifetime partner and was in the process of letting me know. That was 36 years ago.
Fast forward to 2006; by this time we had raised three daughters through college. I was continuously faithful, despite long periods of travel to work locations requiring me to be away weekdays. I never would consider an affair, and true to my geekness was not approach by any women. Affairs are destructive, and my family came first. By 2006 I had been diagnosed with prostate cancer. My urologist, lucky for me; prescribed probably the least invasive remedy, seed implantation. In any event our sex life deteriorated. Was it being over 50, prostate treatment, I did not know. Up to this point my wife relied on me to have an erection on demand and generally made herself available. That was no problem up to age 50. However she did not encourage the erection other than by keeping herself reasonably fit and dressed. No foreplay, touching, or setting the mood in the room. Plus the menu was limited, and I do make the requests.
So, on a project in Las Vegas, I say to myself; hey do I want to experience only one women this life? Is my sex life over? Plus it’s legal around here somewhere. After checking the internet, come to find that there are bordellos in a town called Pahrump. Doing due diligence come to find that in the opinion of experienced hobbyists, Pahrump is a rip-off. The girls are not pretty, prices high, menu limited. One is better off with local escorts. Now just walking down the strip you are not far from escort advertising. But by then I discovered TER. Reviews, ratings, discussion boards, links to galleries; what a country! So I shop and find my second sex partner in 36 years!
A First Blog - Introduction
My first blog. I'm relatively new to the hobby. I've seen 4 providers, one in Las Vegas and the others in the Denver area. After 30 plus years, exclusively with the same partner, all I can say is wow! I didn't know what I was missing. My partner does not know of the hobbying (directly) but she is learning of some new expectations. Don't misunderstand, I'm not expecting a GFE type behavior from her, but I am expecting a higher level of intimacy in our time alone together. More on that later.
Going into this I was anticipating the stereotypical "whore" (and I dislike the derogatory term). What I found were warm sensitive, and caring women to go along with anticipated beauty and physical technique. These women are at the vangaurd of how men should be treated. Men will reciprocate in kind, but they need to experience what is available to them initially.
So hobby on. I think we are participating in some significant social change. Not that sex for sale is new, but because of the information sharing now available, more participants from a broader socio-economic background are venturing into the hobby.
We live in interesting times, very interesting for this hobbyist.